Hello, gentle reader! I am taking this long weekend to get caught up on my WIP, to meet my self-imposed deadline, and to start working on an old project.
You see, I made a rookie mistake a few years back, and I am paying the price for it now.
After publishing my first book, I was in a crisis of confidence. On the one hand, I was giddy with pride at publishing my first book. I had plans for books two and three, and there are forty thousand words sitting on my hard drive to prove it.
I questioned if I should stop writing in that world and start something new, or plug along with the known world. I analyzed each angle, each argument endlessly. In the end, I stopped writing on my first world thinking no one wanted to read more. I floundered for years trying to work on other things, new bright and shiny items because I secretly feared I was not a good enough writer to handle the race/class/gender/sexuality issues seeded in my first book. The plot- cemented in my head. The characters- real people to me with real motivations. My confidence suffered when it came to putting words on the page, so I didn’t.
Several years later, I am happily working on a new project, and while that brings me professional satisfaction, I still feel the pull of my unfinished business in my first book. I wish I had just plowed through, and trusted myself to handle the subject matter in a thoughtful and productive way. Or trusted myself to read the project after it was finished and say, “It’s not ready yet.”
Will I write in that world again? Of course. Will it be a full novel? Unsure. It is extremely difficult to go back after several years and start dissecting a story. In my case, I may just start over from scratch.
My advice today to all you peeps struggling with your creative endeavors, your hobbies- keep at it. Trust yourself. Or else be sad like me at the missed opportunities.
Weather- Sunny, drizzly and a bit humid. This reminds me of any crime novel set in Florida:)